Commanding His Grief

Posted on Thu Nov 21st, 2024 @ 1:50pm by The Commander & Lieutenant Rune Thul

3,304 words; about a 17 minute read

Mission: DownTime [1]
Location: Unknown
Timeline: After 'The Object'

The humming glow of the transporter that dematerialised Thul took him somewhere empty, dark and weightless. He was suspended, still, and not uncomfortable other than one would be when suddenly surrounded by a dark, silent void in existence. He could not move but did not feel restrained, it was more as though he could face forward see all there was to see.

Light appeared before Rune’s eyes. The image of a man, tall and thin with styled red hair and heterochromic blue-green eyes. A Starfleet Commander from the 23rd century, by the look of his gold uniform shirt’s sleeves.

“If you can hear me, I am the Commander of this vessel. This message is to let you know that I cannot interfere with what comes next, and that you need to take it seriously. It is not a simulation or simulacrum; the consequences will be as real as any other time in your life.”

His voice was finely tuned and sturdy, he had a fey, almost Vulcan look to him, but there was no sign he was anything but human. From what Thul could see, he was the only other thing in the universe, and a source of light.

“Eventually, I will be able to retrieve you from it, and it will be up to you whether or not you wish to leave. If you do not join me, I will not stay, and there will be no further return to your point of origin possible. When you are ready to begin, press the button.”

In the space that appeared to be within arm’s reach for Thul, a large red holographic button appeared in the shape of his palm and fingers.

"Oh for the love of the Four Deities, what is this utter crap." Rune said, now fully annoyed. After a brief glance around at the darkness and back at the light with the floating red button, Rune shrugged, as there didn't seem to be any other course of action.

He got his palm to hover just above the button. Rune attempted to reach out as far as he could with his mind and called out to his companions in a loud telepathic burst, ~anyone?~ He chuckled as he realised he could mimic the one that called them with their word. Help, but that seemed pointless.

He waited several moments for anything but realised that those he was with weren't strong telepaths like him, so even if they heard him, how would they respond? Rune growled. "This better be worth it, whoever you are!" He slammed his palm down on the button with anger. "If I face you..." He let himself trail off.

Consciousness faded from him for a moment, and after that moment he felt himself awake. It was a room he knew, but had not been in for some time. A spare bedroom in his parents’ home on Betazed. The last place they had lived.

The homesick began to set in as he recognised where he was, it was as if his inner child woke up. A side of him he may have buried, of course he wasn't fully aware of this... Yet. He heard a sob escape him as he slowly turned to the door, scared of what he might see on the other side.

In one of the nearby mirrors, Thul would see how he looked in mid-2374, before the Dominion invasion. From the look out, one of the windows at the city of Rixx.

With 27-year-old Rune looking back at him in the mirror, he briefly inspected and now felt the anxiety and apprehension that one would have when one is faced with a dream of probably going to meet their lost loved ones. This had been one of the nightmares he had back following the war. He could feel the tears beginning to well under his eyes as he seemed to not have any control over his body, for he left the room and made his way down to the Kitchen.

There was music and the smell of breakfast cooking from beyond the door. In the kitchen, Prissa Thul was sitting at the kitchen counter, half-reading an update about the war on her padd, half-watching her husband prepare to make omelettes. The smell of garlic and onion frying in olive oil filled the air.

“Four thousand ships assembled to block the the way to Deep Space 9. We took it anyway with 600. By the deities, why haven't these Dominion people surrendered?” Prissa seemed more annoyed by the war than sentimental about the loss of life.

“Don’t trouble yourself focusing on all that misery, Imazdi. Focus on these eggs instead. They’re not Ktarian, but earth chickens are a near second.” Latral told his wife with a knowing smile as he sprinkled in a few different seasonings.

Prissa went to respond, but looked to see their son had emerged. “Darling boy, I know you are on medical leave, but if the Trois or the Kitains heard that the only son of the Thul family was sleeping in until this hour, I’d never hear the end of it.”

He didn't make it any further when his parents came into full view, Rune simply stopped dead in his motion. Tears now streaming down his cheeks, though he refused to blink them away as he feared so hard that if he did, they would vanish. When his mother turned to him, that's when it hit the hardest. He missed them both terribly, but of course every son missed their mother more, and he had believed he had weathered the brunt of the grief with Vestar. Mostly because of Vestar's support, he missed his Imzadi just as much as he missed his mother at this moment.

Clearly the ever compressing grip full of pain, loss and survivor's guilt surrounding his heart forced him to grab his chest as his voice uttered a wounded, alone animal's low pitch howl. It was followed by, a drawn out. "Mother, Father," he squeezed out amongst the howl. His 27-year-old body's knees just collapsed to the floor. His mind simply clouded, and that's pretty much all he could do as he fought through the tears to keep watching his parents.

"Row, what is it?" His mother asked, placing the padd down and rushing over to him. The grief and anguish radiating from him confused them both terribly. She looked back to her husband, who had switched off the stovetop and joined them. Privately, she asked him telepathically if they should call someone at Starfleet medical. He thought maybe they should call Vestar. His father remained upright, but his mother crouched down, placing a hand gently on his shoulder. "Darling boy, please talk to me. We're here for you."

The flood of emotions seemed to recede enough that his vision returned, his mother's voice in his head asking if he needed Starfleet Medical's help, instinctively Vestar rolled straight off Rune's tongue, and maybe it was his father's calm concern that gave Rune more stability. "You both died, in the Dominion invasion of our world." He said, his tears still flowing. Still gripping his chest tightly, for if he let go, all that he just went through would be back in full.

Suddenly, a wave of illogical irrationality struck Rune, his reason still a beacon of light told him what he was about to say was foolish and unanswerable. "Why did you have to die?! You missed our wedding! Our children's births!" That's when the compression returned, and stronger this time. It felt closer somehow, though, with his steadfast grip he somehow managed to keep going. "I still had so much to learn from you!" Memories of Vestar's parents welcoming him into their family and saw many of his people around grieving as well.

It was expected that the telepathic nature of his people amplified any collective emotional states in every individual. It was one of Betazed's darkest times, he realised that that while he didn't fully perceive it back then, he found some peace in the fact that many of his kin could grieve and find strength to live on. Perhaps it was dwarfed by the fact that Rune already knew his reason for living: Vestar and Starfleet, though an urge to seek revenge was seeded and now was growing. He recalled the anger and pain from killing Dominion troops had already served as his revenge, it was just mistimed.

"I killed Dominion invaders to avenge you both!" A proud grin formed on his lips as his pride filled his eyes. "I showed the old crones that I am worthy of their respect!" He boasted, Rune's eyes widened as he realised he never really felt ashamed of killing to protect his people and homeworld. "They should change their ways, the old ones don't work anymore." Rune found relief in voicing his frustration at Betazoid leadership.

An idea came to him and lunged at his mother to embrace her. "Love you both! Miss you both so much!"

Prissa held her son as he approached her, hoping to take the lead in the interaction subtly. She was concerned. "Row, we're right here. The Dominion is far away, Betazed is nowhere near the front lines. We have the tenth fleet looking out for us." She said, hugging him, radiating images of calm and familiarity to him telepathically. "Everything is alright. Take a few deep breaths." She gestured with her eyes to her husband to make a call.

He held his mother just tight enough not to hurt her but firmly, fearing she'd disappear the instant he let go. The realism of his mother's hold and physicality began to sow the seeds of doubt in Rune's mind. It felt odd considering the nagging itch repeating the fact that both of these people are dead and years ago. "No they couldn't, they were ambushed by the Dominion during a training exercise and Starfleet too thought most of the core worlds were secure, we shouldn't have assumed anything."

The emotions are formidable and the inner turmoil storm continued as he countered his mother's words, I should have taken more time to mourn! He told himself and wondered if he truly could have let go. Vestar's presence was what pushed him to do it quickly for Rune wanted to be there for his imzadi, his selflessness is what was now becoming a hinderence.

"I know you've been through a lot, darling boy. Well, I don't know. In truth I have no idea. We've never had a real war in my lifetime. Just some skirmishes with the Cardassians. It's perfectly normal for something so impactful to still be hurting you when you're so far away. Come with me downstairs, we'll wait for someone from Starfleet who can help you. Can you tell me who the President is, Row? What about the date?" As far as she could tell, Prissa was watching her son have some sort of mental health episode. She wondered if he'd even notice that it was written on the timekeeping device on the wall behind her.

His energy finally drained, from all the tears and heartache. He continued to try to hold onto his mother but his arms just fell to his sides, "what is going on here?" Rune said as he rocked back, he slowly looked up at the whoever appeared to be his mother. He took a few slow deep breaths. "I know you both are dead." Rune stood up slowly and still had a few remaining tears falling down his face. It actually felt good to be utterly drained of all that pain and grief that he suddenly realised had left him while he cried. "It is Stardate 51535.49, 15 July 2374 shortly before Betazed is subjected to one of our darkest times in history, the Dominion invade our world and kill so many. And Jaresh-Inyo is the president at this time."

He glanced around, Rune wondered if this was the test the Commander spoke of, rather brutal in his opinion but he had a feeling it wasn't over. "Commander! You could at least tell me what the test is," Rune called out with the same annoyance, which did now refuel him, he had back before he hit the button. "What gives you the right to test us," he muttered as he did a 360 degree turn around to take in the home he grew up in from a more adult vision. It had been destroyed in the invasion so he knew this was fake.

Rune's gaze returned to watch his parents. "Mother, Father, you have no idea how much I truly miss you. The Dominion took you far too soon from me. I needed you both, I wish I had taken more time learning from you about the things I didn't have interest in." He said hanging his head in self-disappointment. He looked up and put his hands together, "I'm now the Regent of the House of Courage after the Dominion were pushed off our world. Thankfully I have our daughter, we named her Prissa, to honour you Mother." He said with a smile. "While I hope she has your many strengths and courage, if she wishes to take your place as Matriarch of the Seventh House then it shall be. I kinda hope she has an interest in politics," he laughed.

Prissa suddenly released him and took a step backward. She closed her mind to Rune. Telepathically she told her husband to go downstairs and get help. She looked on him with suspicion now, the idea had just entered her head that this was not her son. "Who are you?" She asked, her warm mothering gaze turning to that of one who has sighted an intruder.

There was a muffled sound of significant concussion, followed moments later by a bang that rattled the building to its foundations. Out the window one could see that one of Betazed's 22nd century defence platforms had fallen from the sky, its crew doing all they could to keep it from smashing into the planet at terminal velocity. Jem'Hadar fighters filled the sky, purple-white polaron beams began to strafe the topless towers of the great city.

"By the deities. He's right. It's the Dominion." Latral Thul was shocked as he reached the window. "We have to get out of here. Now!" Prissa was still wary of Rune, but also painfully aware of the danger they were now all in.

The tears began to flow again from Rune's eyes. He kept watching his parents, he wanted to memorize as much of their faces as he could. He feared he may lose the details as soon as he looked away. He didn't get closure so he began to walk towards them. "Where did you go?" He asked, wondering what they would have done.

"We don't have time for this, Row. We have to go now! There's a shelter only a few blocks down. It's our best chance." Latral told his son as Prissa began towards their private turbolift. He followed his wife, and looked back to their son. "It's now or never, Row. We love you, but we can't help you any more than you'll let us."

"I'm coming, we can get help later." Rune played along and was on his way to the front door, he pushed his mother in the same direction.

With all three inside, the turbolift began to rush towards the lobby. It deposited them in a room full of their own people, evacuating in panic. The psychic sensation only served to agitate all present further. The crowd were rushing out into the street, but as the Thuls got near the exit, an explosion outside sent a concussive wave back through the doors, throwing them backwards and filling the room with dust and debris.

Being thrown back, though in his younger body, was a little more painful then he recalled back during the war. Rune groaned as he attempted to get up to a seated position. He was about to push through it. He looked around in panicked movements for his parents. "Mother!! Father!!" He called in a croaky voice, half from the dust-filled lobby and half from his tears that continued to fall which mixed with the dust. His eyes stung as a result.

Prissa coughed as she tried to lift her husband to his feet, but he would not come. He had stood between her and shrapnel that emerged from his side. He fell limp, life leaving him. "Imzadi.." was his last utterance as he passed away in the arms of his beloved wife. She held him for a moment and released him with a kiss on the forehead, no expression on her face. "This way." Prissa told Rune, and they moved to the other side of the dust and smoke-filled lobby, where another exit opened out into the streets around the building. Her face was unexpressive, but her mind roiled with barely contained anguish. Explosions continued to sound all around.

To say the strength of his mother's feeling of loss to him was the size of a supernova is an understatement. It was difficult to feel his own from his mother's as he played his father's death over and over as he switched into intelligence operative mode. It was all he could do to operate in any sense as he followed his mother. Rune believed he was ready to see his parents die but he vastly overestimated his own courage in facing his demons in the form of his dead parents.

The sounds of battle began to get closer though it wasn't quite enough to bring Rune to his full senses. In moments Jem'Hadar were coming from all directions.

Suddenly the Commander’s voice filled the air, a repeating message. Another holographic button in the shape of his palm appeared only to Rune.

“If you can hear me, I can now retrieve you if you press the button in front of you. If you do not come, you will remain here for the rest of your natural existence. This message repeats five more times before discontinuing.” The Commander said.

Prissa looked around frantically as the fire of polaron rifles turned those ahead of them into grey clouds of polarised atoms. She grabbed Rune and pulled him back towards the doorway, obviously oblivious to the Commander's presence, which followed Rune at the same distance without steps or any bodily movement, like a hologram when someone moved its projector.

A polaron shot made contact with Prissa's back, it went through Rune as he wasn't actually there at this stage for now he can hear the repeating message from the Commander which was on its 3rd time. He watched as his mother turned back to look over her shoulder at her son as she could no longer feel her body. It was disappearing in slow motion for them both.

The tears began flowing again as he heard his mother speak, "I love you," and she was gone. There was powder in his hand for a moment and he howled as the remains of his mother got picked up by the wind. Rune fell to his knees and brought what he could catch to his chest. He had already said what he wanted to say to them, it was great to have said it all.

He made a deep, deep breath and just as the 5th time the message was playing, Rune hit the button. "Good bye Mother, Father." He said as he wiped his eyes and regained control over his senses. His intelligence training helping greatly as he offered up a prayer to the Four Deities for his parents to be guided by them wherever their spirits may be.

Around Rune, everything once again dispersed into darkness, and consciousness drifted from him.

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